Happy New Years my Friends!!

I encourage you all to enjoy New Years but, remember that if you party so hard that you don’t remember anything, then the whole night was a waste. Lets enjoy your family and friends and keep our wits about us. HAPPY 2007

Cheeselette Christmas

Christmas morning was quite different for me this year. I got to sleep in....wander for coffee...take my time dressing and waking, then headed over to the house. Much different than Christmas' past where Ms. Cheesy Claus was up at dawn to tend to stockings and breakfast and beating the wee ones up. This was an adult Christmas as the grand girls were at their other Grandmas house. I was due to share them this year.

As I walked into my daughter's house, I was greeted with the aroma of coffee and monkey bread. I could also smell the first wisps of the Kalua Pig in the oven. That scent would torture us all day. The In-Law Mom wasn't quite sure what to think of N's choice in dinner, But I knew it would be a hit. After her first bite she said "OMG, I think we have a new traditional meal!

N played Santa and handed out the gifts.
After the gifts were opened and we all got to play with each other toys....

Then it was time for Hot buttered Rum!

I know I know but it was noon.... somewhere

We pretty much hung out... visited and cooked the rest of the day. N and her twin B, were in charge of the kitchen. Menu for the eve was the pig, brown rice, sauted cabbage, mixed green and yellow beans, pecan and pumpkin~egg nog pie... oh... and more wine!

Cindylou Who was one tired little girl. It was also nap time for some of the menfolk.
The meal was ready so we set up the table again for Christmas dinner, of course youngest son J was first in place!

Dinner was yummy and perfect as was the conversation and giggles. After supper we decided to make the cookies we all were a little too weary and shall I say tipsy, to make the night before

Now we weren't all that weary, but from the looks of things we were still a little tispy!
But we were all proud of our creations!

I had a most excellent day and N did a faboo job of hosting her first married Christmas... I'm so proud of her... and my family... can you tell???

A Cheesy Chili Christmas Eve

Well I get to sit and post about my holiday!!

I wanted to leave town a little earlier than I did but due to the dryers heating element going tits up, I had to make an early trip to the Laundromat before I could leave. Dry clothes are much lighter to pack than wet.

Took out for my daughter's house Christmas eve day... After drying my laundry and finally getting packed. Had a van full of family and luggage and gifts.. And amazingly grand weather for the trip. Brother's van has no music so ... gaaakkk we had to CONVERSE! lol

After 3 hours of looking out on my lovely state go by, we arrived and some of us got dropped off at the historic hotel we were staying at. I was so impressed with the peaceful, quiet vibes as soon as I stepped foot in the lobby. I know I will be staying there again in the future. At first I was a little bummed that I wasn't staying at the kiddo's house but MAN I had a fabulous stay at this quaint place.

With the size of my clan and the fact that son-in-law's folks were also in town [and they own the kids' house] it just wasn't feasible for us ALL to stay there.

After unpacking and cleaning up a few of us wandered the downtown area and grabbed a light snack and some coffee and enjoyed the lovely little shops downtown .

After getting everyone gather up we headed over to the house for a meal of homemade turkey chili, spinach salad, cornbread and apple pie and quite the assortment of wines. It was the first time we all had been able to hang out as a newly blended family since the wedding in August, and I was a little apprehensive about how we would all get along. I now know that this was a good match!

We had a divine dinner and lots of laughs, I asked the kids to open one of the gifts I brought. The game Fact or Crap... It was so much fun with that large of a crowd!

Daughters cat Cindylou Who was strangely comfortable with such a large group. I think my daughter got her stoned on nip before we all got there???The wine flowed and it looked as if everyone was getting rather sleepy so back to the hotel for an evening of sugar plums dancing in my head. The hotel was AWESOME at night.

Next post Christmas day!

Friday Funny 12/29

12/27 Observation

The toilet in the back room @ 7-11 is freezing ass cold



But......
In summer it's a nice place to sit.
I am still thankful it is there for me year round. They are kind to "needin to pee" postal workers!

Santa's Pickup Lines

10. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

9. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?

8. I’ve got something special in the sack for you!

7. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

6. I know when you’ve been bad or good--so let’s skip the small talk, sister!

5. Some of my best toys run on batteries...

4. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that’s what the Mrs. calls it.

3. I see you when you’re sleeping--and you don’t wear any underwear, do you?

2. Screw the "nice" list--I’ve got you on my "naughty" list!

1. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?

Holiday Melancholy

Side note:

{One year and 190 posts... Please refer to this post for my thoughts and thanks!}

The holidays can trigger the blues for a lot of people. We all have associations with the music, the decorations, and the foods that are so omnipresent at this time of year. We may look back on a happy childhood and feel that our present situation doesn’t measure up. On the other hand, we may be reminded of what we wanted but didn’t get as children. Either way, our real lives are unfolding in the here and now. This is a new holiday season altogether, and we can find joy in the fact that we can make it our own and let it be new.

One key way to give a boost to your holiday is to let go of feeling duty-bound to engage in rituals or situations that make you feel unhappy. It is easy to get lost in the trance of tradition and lose track of who you really are and what serves you as you are now. But there is a wonderful payoff if you take the time to touch base with what you really want and give it to yourself. When you take care of yourself, your capacity to give to others expands exponentially, and so does your natural joyfulness.

The first step is taking time to sort through any baggage that’s nagging you. If sad memories present themselves, know that you are not alone. It is well-documented that many people suffer from depression at this time of year. The key is to face these feelings, hear them out, and fully process them so that you can be free again. Try giving yourself the space and time to reflect on what will be truly healing for you this year. Perhaps you’d rather go on vacation to a tropical island with friends than go back home to a dysfunctional family. Maybe you’d prefer not to exchange gifts. Maybe you want to change-up the traditional dinner fare and make something profoundly healthy or exotic. As you infuse this holiday with new energy, you will feel your blues lightening and your pleasure steadily rise. Try to make this holiday season about who you are now, not what you were in the past.
Enjoy!

Damage Control

Well I donned the boots and went on a recon adventure to scope out the damages from the storm. I got off very easy this time! Only 2 trees down {as far as I can find so far} and lost a wall in the old house on the lower property. It actually will save me some destruction labor next spring as this building is in need of coming down. Its been here since the late 40's and is at the least an eyesore and a danger now. Got a little free firewood now... Somehow I need to figure out how to line them up so the NEXT storm will also cut and split the downed trees.... Any suggestions?? LOL

Sunday Funnies

Things that made me smile

Have a GREAT weekend!!

Is it Summer YET???

Helper Bee

My new shirt

[Drag 'em by the hair- then they won't fill up with dirt"]

Sometimes...You just have to SCRATCH!

Redneck Bird Dogs

So THATS where the Halloween candy went!

One Thirsty Dog

In the Dark

It's been a wild and crazy last 24 hours.. Huge storm hit last night and I got home just in time to batten down the hatches and tie down the pets before it hit. Raced home.. Took a quick look around the property for anything loose and able to do major damage if flung towards the house... Ran inside and first things first, made a huge pot of coffee~ I do have my priorities!! Located the camp coffee pot next lol. Gathered all the candles and flashlights, filled water jugs, hauled wood up to the stove and started a fire. Winds had started as I was driving home and as I finished my preparations, they picked up with a vengeance. At about 8 PM the worst hit~~ 45-60 mph winds and driving rain. Lights flickered a tad so I shut down the puters and curled up on the couch. Finally the power gave way to darkness and a raging storm. At one point it was blowing so hard it blew my front door open. Rain was SHOOTING across the entry and hit the far wall. Man that was a site! I had to move the recliner up against the door to keep it shut lol.

Here are a few images from the quiet dark after math. Sure feels good to be able to flush toilets again hehehe. I haven't been able to do a property check as I've yet to be home during daylight. Keep fingers crossed the damage is minimal! Second phone line is still down, but all in all wasn't the worst we've seen in these parts!

This old woodstove is a godsend in times like these!

Saved Grins

Cleaning out some files of stuff I've saved this week ~~ Just buttoning up my weekend frenzy of blogs lol...
Enjoy!

Retrievers... Gotta love um!!

How true eh???

Crap and I thought I made it to Church this weekend...

The First Happy Meal

On the flip side...

Your first sign your Son may be gay.....

Quality Time.....

Most Popular Man in Prison

Last but not Least......

SON, I MADE THE SAME MISTAKE WITH YOUR MOTHER THAT YOU'RE MAKING IN IRAQ.

I DIDN'T PULL OUT IN TIME.

Adventure????

Today started out GREAT! SF and I were able to get some time off together and we made plans to hang out for a few hours. Got into my handy dandy little truck and headed south for a day of coffee, communing, and possibly a little casino time. I was running on time and in fact a little ahead of schedule so I had time to stop and take some pics. Pulled over on a remote part of the freeway as I saw a lovely valley with a low laying fog cover. Left the truck running,,, hopped out and got the shots, stretched my legs a bit then went to get back in. SHIT! I somehow locked the door while getting out,,, with the truck running,,, and my cell phone on the front seat. Try as I may I could not get into the truck. I even took a gun lock I had in the back and tried to break the back slider window out, Crap,,, no luck. I spotted a small farmhouse down the hill from the road so I decided to try there. I really hated the thought of leaving my truck on the freeway running but I really had no choice. Hiked down the road about a mile to a little less steep part of the drop off and scaled down the hill. Crap again.... Barbed wire fence. Ok I can do this! I was able to get over the fence without killing myself but as I stepped off the last square of fencing gravity took over and I had to leap quite a ways to catch my footing. Pulled a little sumpin sumpin in my right thigh... But dammit!!! I didn't't fall!! Woo hooo hooo! So I hike back towards the farmhouse, start to walk up the drive and I see a BIG Shepard heading my way barking her head off. I loudly asked her "You barking at me?" and at that she got all waggy and lovey: Man I lucked out there. Then the little freekin ankle nippin yapper Peke came around the corner lol. Gadz do they ALL think they are 400 pound Rhinos? I knocked on the door and thankfully someone was home. A very nice elderly lady answered and I asked if she had a hammer I could borrow. I figured breaking that glass would be faster and cheaper than trying to get someone to come and help me in the middle of just about nowhere. She said yes and I pointed up to the freeway where my truck was and said as soon as I got in I would bring her hammer back. She wished me well and off I went. By this time I am not only tired, a little tweaked at myself, and excited all at the same time ! I AM gonna win this fight! So now its about 45-50 minutes that have passed since I locked myself out. Now I am supposed to be meeting my guy in about 10 minutes yet I am still 30 mins away, and I have no way of contacting him. So I decide to try and scale the hill a little closer to the truck and there is also a little more of a sturdy spot in the fence to scale. Just about was home free when I grabbed the fence wrong. Second injury,lol, cut the hell out of my hands but dammit I... AM... ALMOST... THERE. Used the claw of the hammer to help me scale the hill....Eureka!! I make it back to the freeway. Walk back up the freeway hill to my truck... Climb into the back and SMACK the slider explodes.... Now I am wondering CHIT am I going to fit through the window?? I do up to my hips and reach the rest of the way with the claw of the hammer and unlock the passenger door. This has been the only time I didn't care for having a king cab.

YES YES YES!!!

Now I get out of the bed of the truck,,, open the door,,, turn off the truck [the inside was a SWEAT BOX] and stand on the side of I5 doing the happy hippy chick dance.... Then.... My phone rings. I can barely talk due to exhaustion and adrenaline drain. But I assure SF I am on my way!! Hopped back in the truck and took the hammer back... Got to pat the pup one last time and profusely thank my little lady angel. She freaked a little at how bloodied I was but I assured her I was fine. Got to said destination in record time ... Hooked up with SF and let him know I needed to clean up and was in DIRE need of a cup of coffee [as mine in the truck was full of damned glass].

After all the drama we had a most lovely day of snuggles, skin time, catching up, picture taking and then gambling. We both did GREAT and now I have no worries as to how the hell am I going to pay for the window lol... Bad mojo turned great. The day was a success! Although SF gave me a hard time for not picture chronicling my adventure. I had other things on my mind I'm afraid lol.

Now,,, do you think these pics were worth all the trauma??? Well if they aren't,,,,, the skin time WAS!!

All in all... a most perfect day!

I crave

I crave
The very thought of you
Pressing against me
Your hands touching and teasing

I crave
The sweet taste of you
Warm and wet upon my lips
Your flavor upon my tongue

I crave
The musky scent of you
Sweeping through my head
Filling my mind and body with lust

I crave
The rich sound of your voice
Whispering softly in my ear
Dirty little secrets

I crave
Once more
And forever
You

Wet Webs

Was a damp, foggy, cold day. Spider webs caught my eye.... Damned if they aren't hard to focus on!

I like this one best

Hilarious!

I really need to hone some Photoshop skills!

This is what happens when your Dad is a Graphic Designer

LOL I love these!

And my Cheesy Favorite!!

Because no one should go hungry....

The first day of Cans for Carriers Who Care, our local food drive, was a huge success! It seems every year we get more and more participation on the community's part. It is a function I am proud to be a part of twice a year. May is the national drive, but here locally we also run a 2 weekend drive for the holidays. I have to say though, I feel blessed I no longer have to pack the cans on my back~~ seniority rules!


Some information on local statistics:

One in five people in Lane County depends on FOOD for Lane County services to help them fill the gap when times are hard. Sometimes it's a single parent who doesn't make enough to pay for all the essentials his or her family needs and needs an extra boost to get through the month. Sometimes it's an elderly person who is living on a fixed income and needs help now and in the future. Sometimes it's a homeless person who is completely out of resources and needs food immediately. In each case we are committed to developing programs and services that respond to the unique needs of special populations and we are careful to ensure these services are delivered in a respectful manner.

Nearly one in three Lane County children ate from a food box at least once last year, according to a 2004 Hunger Factors Assessment Survey conducted by Oregon Food Bank and FOOD for Lane County.

More than one in five Oregon children live in a food-insecure household.

One in 15 Oregon children lives in a home that is so financially strapped that at least one household member goes hungry at times, according to the Oregon Center for Public Policy.


Sometimes I feel saddened by the suffering I see in news reports from across the globe; I wish I had the ability to make a larger impact in my own community. Though I may not be able to solve the entire world's problems, donating time and energy to a worthwhile charitable organization can go a long way toward making you feel empowered about your ability to make a positive difference. Simply give some thought to causes that are important to you personally, and then seek simple and creative ways to work on them proactively today.

By focusing on the ways we can make a constructive difference in the world, we stop worrying so much about the things that are out of our control. Rather than allowing ourselves to feel powerless by the things we can't control, we can instead shift our focus and begin working on the ways we can make a positive difference. As we do so, we begin to feel empowered and encouraged by the changes we see taking place, which fuels our resolve to continue on. Suddenly we lose interest in obsessing about the things we can't control because we are eagerly working on the things we can. Simply by taking positive action in one small area today, you can empower yourself with the ability to change the world for the better.

So my friends let me share this little seed of information. Next time you have a local food drive remember this: just one can per household amounts to a huge difference for a family in need. I have about 800 homes on my route. Imagine what 800 cans of food look like, then multiple that by X. In my city we have about 300 routes but on average have 500 homes. That is 500x300....a total of 150,000 cans of life saving nutrition. Now most people seem to leave more than one can so you can imagine the impact that can have on a local food bank. This is one small gift you can give!

Starting to fill up containers

At this point in the evening, we had already sent out one truck with 10 of these filled, and we are the smallest office in town!

Just a few of the local non-postal volunteers... THANKS!!!

One year in the Life of Cheese

Its been just about a year that I've been blogging.. In honor of that I'd like to share some thoughts. They may be a bit disjointed and is definatly wordy.. but then..... that's me!

My thoughts pour across the monitor, the digital bits and pieces of me, of my life, telling the story of who this woman is, what she is like, what she thinks about, and what she does. I love writing. I love telling stories about who we are and what our lives are about. I’ve made so many friends, met so many people in this virtual world of words, this string of interconnected ideas, this world woven together in this strange universe we call cyberspace.

It’s often hard to imagine having these deep profound connections with people you’ve never met, but we tend to open ourselves up so wide and so willingly in our expressions. We tell our secrets, share our stories, we laugh, we cry, we fight, and we love. The words we share become our voices; they become our freedom from this gilded cage.

Aside from things which are intensely personal and unique to me, so much of what I ultimately decide to write about is from a seed planted in my garden which was watered with a thought from someone special, and they truly are someone special to me. I love SF with all of my being. There must be an immortal soul, because what I feel is much larger than I can contain in this body. I cherish him. I let him know that I am not here to possess him, but to stand with him. We compliment each other like the sun and moon, and I am left wanting for nothing but more time. I had 7 years of darkness due to loss and he was my life’s light at the end of that tunnel. He gives me all he can and I adore him for that.

I admit I didn’t start writing with the intention of authoring a blog, I just knew that I needed to write. I needed a place to express my deepest thoughts, and I wanted to connect with others, and to exchange ideas, and to meet people who shared this virtual landscape. If I had to evaluate the success of this endeavor, I would have to say that I achieved everything I set out to do. I’ve met (in the virtual sense) so many wonderful people, many who I have a deep affinity for, and who I have come to know (as much as is possible through this medium) very well, or at least well enough to consider them unique friends who are as important to me and my life as any flesh and blood friend could be. Perhaps cyberspace has become a mirror of the world in every possible sense, because the world is not always a pretty place, and neither is the cyberworld. Here in this world, there are the same wretches of humanity as there are in the world of three dimensions, though it’s far easier to conceal that ugliness in this world. It’s very easy to camouflage intentions in cyberworld and to change your virtual appearance to where up looks like down and black looks like white – but through it all, I’ve had my words and my pictures. I’ve had the relationships and friendships I’ve made through my blog and they remind me that even though humanity can be ugly, every human can be beautiful.

One subject which sprouted in my cyberspace garden has been the subject of femininity and what it means to me to be a woman. Writing about sex and sexuality has opened up so many doors and avenues of discussion, far too many to list here and now, but these discussions I’ve found are vital and important to understanding who we are and understanding our nature. Not everyone is always going to agree, in fact, its better that we don’t agree! It’s better that many ideas come to our virtual table, and that we have the opportunity to explore these things and hopefully when it’s all said and done, we come away with a better understanding of what it all means.

In my own life, I have a deep and almost spiritual connection to my submissive nature; things which I think reflect and represent the awesome beauty of femaleness in the purest sense. This passive identity is more than just an extension of my sexuality, it’s a tangible thing, a fundamental component to my identity, and it is through this meek self that I’ve reconnected and in many ways found the woman inside myself. And I think she’s beautiful, and more so, I think she lives inside every woman and we struggle to find her and to set her free. Through this blog I have chronicled this journey, and through it all, there was my contact with other women on the very same journey I was, but each with their own story to tell, and many with a story I’d especially like to share and talk about now.

Because of my emails and connection with some of these women I began to wonder why it is that we begin to look outside of our existing relationships for what we need, why we take lovers, and I think I may have part of the answer. Maybe it’s because when we’re with a lover the only thing they expect of us is that we’re just a woman [or man]. We get to feel like we’re supposed to, if even for a little while in the arms of someone who only wants to hold us and touch us and love us. Maybe it’s an illusion, but it’s a powerful one, and we’re able to suspend reality in our own minds because we just need to be touched, we need to feel something, we need to feel like a sexual being again. It isn’t that we don’t love or want our partners; we do; though sometimes we seek out lovers because of other reasons like anger, or because we’re stuck married to some dick who could care less what we feel just as long as dinner is on the table and we spread our legs on cue. How sad it is that our lives have become this and what I think bothers me the most is that I don’t see any end to it, or any clear answers.

Please never judge a person for the choices they make, because you can never know what they may feel or what led them to the point where they act. They act because they must. They act because they need.

I’m not writing these things because they directly apply to my life, I’m writing them because they apply to all of us. People have unfulfilled and unrealized needs in this world, our needs are so often pushed aside and considered secondary to society’s idea of what we’re supposed to do, and how we’re supposed to act. I think this is the root of the problem. We fought for equal rights, we fought for access, we smashed the glass ceiling, and these were all so vital and so important that we be able to do these things, but I think we lost something along the way. I think we forgot how to be women because the world stopped treating us like women. We became something else, something I’m not sure what to call. The goals of feminism were not for women to be like men; we knew we didn’t want to be men, but there was no model, no guide, no roadmap, so we made it up as we went along and in doing so, I think we forgot just how beautiful it is to be female. We create life, we are life, we are the beginning and the end, and I think we’ve somehow lost touch with that very basic instinct of femininity.

A few people have written to me and have used words like “lucky” and “blessed” and “wonderful” to describe my relationship. They’re right. On all counts. I am lucky, and I am blessed, and it is wonderful. But what isn’t often revealed in public is how hard it was to get here. Anyone who thinks I have the perfect life is mistaken. The life I have now is perfect for me, but I have paid a heavy price and waited many years to get it, years I can never get back. I suffered through things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but the point is, I endured real pain, real loneliness, many cold nights where the only thing in my bed with me were the ghosts of the past, relentlessly haunting and tormenting me. Things I rarely talk about in the open, but I talk about them with my words… because I can, and it’s the only place where I can be truly free and be completely open about the things which have happened to me.

These things taught me lessons, and perhaps that’s why I had to endure them, to learn those lessons. Those things made me who I am today, and without them, I may very well be a different person – so in some ways, I consider my trials to also be blessings. We must honor our past in order to live life in the future, but we cannot dwell in the past, and I would never burden anyone with the tragedy of my own past, this space is a celebration! A wonderful celebration of life and love and that’s how I want it to be because that is my life now.

Humans have an enormous capacity for understanding, and we can endure things I could ever comprehend, and we often endure silently, until we cannot endure anymore and we finally crack and strike out to find the one thing which makes us complete, the thing which makes us whole, and that’s the love of another person, even if it’s a temporary thing, we take it – because it is better to feel it for a little while than to not feel it at all. If anything, I hope that anyone who reads this will take away one thing from my words – look at that person you share your life with. Don’t just tell them you love them, make sure they feel it and know it in the depths of their soul, in the darkest corner of their mind, in the swells and beats of their heart… make sure they know, and they will always be yours.

I know this is a lot of heady stuff, but I just wanted to explore some of these things, and share some of the things we keep in our writings to one another. This much I do know, these thoughts we share with each other are us, they are our voices, and we must never let them be silenced or allow them to fall victim to the pressures of conformity or the rules of polite humanity; rules we had no voice or part in shaping, but which bind us and keep us locked inside these corridors of cyberspace.

You all in some way have put a direct fingerprint on my heart, enough to trickle tears down my cheeks and bring laughter to my soul. A woman once said it’s okay to look back. Just don’t stare. Just go ever forward and don’t think that every mistake you made and every wrong turn you made is what defines you. It doesn’t. We cannot allow ourselves to be defined as good or bad, or right or wrong. We’re human, and each of us is beautiful, unique, and special in our own way. Look inside yourself and you will find it, I promise.

It is okay to look back, but hopefully we look back and remember the road we’ve been on when we decide which fork in the road to take going forward.

Thank you and I am deeply grateful and humbled by your kind words that you share in your comments. In so many ways I have found my own voice and my own path to healing and putting my life back together after such a long time in the wilderness. I have learned so much about myself and about life, love, everything. And I honestly don’t think I would be in the place I am now if not for my posts; these writings shared between friends are priceless, and they tell the stories of who we are.


Relationships are indeed beautiful and very real and significant parts of our lives. These bonds we make with others are so important, and so essential to us I think, because through them we’re able to share and to learn and to hopefully enrich our lives. I know that I’ve been blessed to have come in contact with so many wonderful people through this blog, people I never would have found. It’s a brave new world, but as we walk out into it, we must step with caution and be aware that there are potential pitfalls awaiting us if we’re not careful. Breaking these bonds isn’t easy either. My greatest wish would be for every one of us to learn to love ourselves and to not be ashamed of who we are and what our desires are. Our sexuality is beautiful and despite all of the confusion, I think when we let “it” out, we all rise higher.

I think so many of us have endured a period of darkness. I hope that together we can help bring each other out into the light. I am grateful for those who have shared in this journey with me. Even the minutiae of my day to day grins and tears!

Milestone for Cheese

Ok so this might not be huge to some...
But
I....AM....JAZZED

I got hit on 5000 times as of this morning LMAO!
Almost my year anniversary blogging...
I feel so... um... SO....
VALIDATED!
I'm working on an acceptance speech!

Quote for SF2

Absence is to love what wind is to fire - it extinguishes the small,

it kindles the great.

-- Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

I miss you

Quote For SF

"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and

squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks

have half a one for breakfast."

-Douglas Adams

Here's hoping the rest of your day doesn't squirt you in the eye

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